I Thought I Would Finally Be Jaime Lannister
When you hear somebody say somebody hits like a girl
How does that hit you?
Is that such a bad thing?
-Female, Keith Urban
I took a class in Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) some weeks ago. After a few classes, one of my classmates asked:
依度成班麻甩佬，有冇覺得好唔慣？
Do you feel uneasy among the blokes?
When I started in Taekwondo, I was the youngest kid. I thought martial arts was fun and wanted to learn. So, I asked my parents to bring me to class. I probably saw that most kids there were boys, but my brain did not register how out of the norm for girls to practice martial arts.
I have always found the Medieval times intriguing. When I learned that HEMA is a legit sport and martial arts, off I went. I was really looking forward to welding a sword and acting like Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones, aka the greatest swordsman in Westeros.
But now, with more than three of life experience in me, I am not so blissfully unaware. As the only woman, walking into a room of men learning to physically hit one another with swords was definitely nerve-racking, but not because of the possibility of getting overpowered.
I went in, feeling like I had point to prove -
That I can be equally good as my male classmates.
I knew I could do this because I had done this already as a kid.
Essentially, I just wanted to be treated as an equal, as a human being. This thought is sad in a way because I already internalised how society treats women as inferior. In a world of true gender-equality and equity, this thought would not appear in my mind, but the truth is that society is not there yet.
Equity and equality
Before you call me an angry feminist trying to denounce men, hear me out. First, there is thousand years of human history which contributes to why martial arts are still dominated by men to this day other than gender stereotypes. Second, there are biological reasons why, on average, men are stronger than women. And it has been found that women have the biological upper hand in endurance exercises.
The HEMA club I was at was a very respectful environment and demonstrated awareness of gender differences and gender equity, not just equality. One incident was especially memorable, the coach said:
如果你想用把輕啲嘅劍都可以，唔係因為你係女仔，只係用把啱重量嘅劍會令你易啲做得好啲動作。
If you want to use a lighter sword, it’s fine too. Not because you’re a woman. It’s just that getting a sword in the weight that suits you would help you perform better.
What’s so great about this is, first, offering options instead of advice or command, and, second showing the awareness that I might actually feel offended. This is what gender equity is about, giving people of all genders the exact resources and opportunities they need to achieve equal success.
Gender equality is important as well. I was treated the same way, doing the same drills as all other classmates. I didn’t get a pass on wrestling.
Women’s sports and women in sports
The problem with the general public is that a lot of people see female athletes, and they automatically think they are less, or that women’s sports are less, because women are not as strong. But physicality is just part of the equation. Technique, strategies, the mental and psychological strengths also play a huge part in sporting success. Of course one can prefer men’s sports or women’s sports or like them equally. But to think that all female athletes are less than their male counterparts because they are a woman is inherently sexist. A lot of people, men and women, are conditioned to think that way because of what we have been taught and fed. Boys are celebrated for their strength, girls mostly their beauty. To this day women sports receive much less coverage in mainstream media. It doesn’t matter you just won 37 matches in a row. The news report is always accompanied by a gallery of ‘beauty shots’. Such a shame.
I thought I was gonna be Jaime Lannister, but I never will. I have always been and always will be Brienne of Tarth, trying to cut down the archaic notion that women are inherently inferior in a male-dominated world. I literally do it with a German longsword.
It’s intimidating at times, but I relish the fight.
